What’s Behind The ‘Ghostlighting’ Dating Trend

InnovationHealthcareWhat’s Behind The ‘Ghostlighting’ Dating TrendByBruce Y. Lee,Senior Contributor.Forbes contributors publish independent expert analyses and insights. Bruce Y. Lee, M.D., MBA, covers health, medicine, wellness and scienceFollow AuthorMay 16, 2026, 10:54pm EDTMay 16, 2026, 11:00pm EDT--:-- / --:--This voice experience is generated by AI. Learn more.This voice experience is generated by AI. Learn more.“Ghostlighting” is when someone you are dating suddenly disappears with no warning and then reappears a while later with no apology or explanation, acting as if nothing happened. (Photo: Getty)gettyYou may have heard of the term “ghostlighting,” as the portmanteau of two very spooky dating behaviors—ghosting and gaslighting. In fact, you may have even already witnessed such “boo”-rish behavior. But what may still be haunting you is why. Why do people ghostlight and what is the psychology behind it?What Is GhostlightingWell, I’ve already written in “A Funny Bone to Pick” for Psychology Today about how doubly troubling ghostlighting can be. Ghosting is when someone you’ve been dating or relationshipping with in some way suddenly disappears without warning or explanation. This naturally can leave you feeling quite bewildered in a “what just happened” type of way. When someone ghosts you, he or she may end up never communicating with you ever again. That’s not the case with ghostlighting, though. Here the person does return after a period of time and begins the oh-so-fun gaslighting phase. Taken alone, gaslighting is when someone continues to makes deceptive statements to you in a way that makes you question your own judgment, perception of reality or even sanity. Step on the “gas” and add the “ghost” to get ghostlighting, and the deceptive statements become about not offering any apology or explanation and instead acting as if nothing happened and potentially even blaming you for their absence such as saying, “Hey you didn’t try hard enough to reach me.”I...