The No. 1 Habit That Kills Love In A Relationship, By A Psychologist

InnovationScienceThe No. 1 Habit That Kills Love In A Relationship, By A PsychologistByMark Travers,Contributor.Forbes contributors publish independent expert analyses and insights. I write about relationships, personality, and everyday psychology.Follow AuthorApr 25, 2026, 04:30pm EDT--:-- / --:--This voice experience is generated by AI. Learn more.This voice experience is generated by AI. Learn more.Most assume bad habits are what destroy a relationship. In reality, a lack of good habits often proves to be more harmful. Conflict, believe it or not, is one of them.gettyMany people are naturally inclined to assume that the presence of something negative will cause the downfall of a relationship. If you asked five people what that might be, they’d likely all give you different answers — cheating, resentment, dishonesty. But more often than not, the real issue is the absence of certain good habits, rather than the presence of certain bad ones.For instance, things tend to go south when communication breaks down, or when a lack of effort causes partners to slowly drift apart; both of these outcomes are defined by something missing. However, one of the biggest culprits in the downfall of a romantic relationship is far less noticeable, largely because many couples mistakenly interpret it as a good sign: a lack of conflict.Why Embracing Conflict Is A Good Habit In RelationshipsPopular portrayals of conflict have done us one of the greatest disservices in all of relational self-help. When genuine conflict is depicted in movies, novels or TV shows — which is rare enough to begin with — it’s usually dramatized through heated screaming matches or tearful, one-sided monologues.In real relationships, though, this is hardly ever the case outside of extreme circumstances. Most of the time, conflict looks like a simple disagreement between two people who don’t see eye-to-eye. Yet because constant, unwavering harmony is so often framed as the gold standard, many couples come to fear...