RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: If Burnham wants to be PM, he should stand against Farage in Clacton

Published: 23:00, 9 July 2026 | Updated: 01:16, 10 July 2026 Clacton, Easter 1964. Mods and Rockers clash on the seafront. Beat Brighton, Skeggy and Scarborough to it by a few months. Quadrophenia came early to Essex. As the local rag put it: 'The Mods & Rockers 'riots' in Clacton made the national news headlines. The mass influx of Mods and Rockers had initially been helped ironically by Clacton Council as they had gone out of their way to promote the town as a lively resort in an attempt to specifically attract youngsters by laying on some top groups of the time to appear in town. 'These included Freddie and the Dreamers at the Blue Lagoon on the Pier, Shane Fenton and the Fentones at the Westcliff Hotel. 'According to the way it was reported in the national newspapers, the weekend's disturbances started quietly enough on Good Friday as a trickle of teenagers on motor scooters, the Mods, began to arrive to have a good time with all the amusements and concerts being laid on. 'Later on during the day, an even smaller number of teenagers on motorcycles, the Rockers, began to turn up. 'On Saturday evening Freddie and the Dreamers played to a packed Blue Lagoon containing an audience of 1,200 youngsters. And it was not long after this that the first clash between the two groups came in Pier Avenue as the two groups faced each other and boots, bottles and blackjacks were swung around and thrown. 'The fighting went on all through the night with a brief respite just before dawn, but soon after breakfast time on Sunday, violence flared up again with the windows of the Pavilion being broken. 'These disturbances led to front page headlines in the national press. The Daily Mail said, 'Clacton represents a new high water mark in hooliganism.' ' So no change there, then. 'There is no doubt that the newspaper stories and headlines helped that weekend go down in history as the time Clacton was completely wrecked by mobs of Mods and Rockers, when innocent bystanders were in fear of their lives and as the weekend that sounded the death knell for Clacton's tourist industry. 'Out of the thousand youths estimated to be here only sixty were arrested and, of those, only 12 were actually prosecuted, and fined a total of £243.' (I love £243 damage. Wouldn't get you a broken window these days. And the fact that my dear friend Commander Mitch Murray wrote the first few Freddie and the Dreamers hits and Shane Fenton went on to be Alvin Stardust.) Back in 1964, I was ten and a bit impressionable. Didn't get my World Cup Willie parka for another couple of years, so was MIA. Clacton was part of my childhood, along with Shoeburyness and Southend, where my dad ran the car park at the annual August Bank Holiday cricket festival weekend. Grandad was a life member of Essex County Cricket Club. Got Dad the gig to supplement the subsistence wages from clerking at British Railways, after leaving the Met as an aide to CID in Fulham – a job he stumbled into after spending the war in the Royal Navy. For want of anything else. Paid for a caravan and a couple of 99s from Rossi's, Cadbury Flakes included, no extra charge. Anyway, I have an enduring fondness for Clacton. My lovely eldest cousin Jacqui Sparke, sadly no longer with us, had a flat on the greensward at Frinton, overlooking where pirate station Radio Caroline used to float, part of the Clacton constituency. Did a proper Sunday roast dinner. Top chip shop opposite the pier, from what I remember. OK, so here's the deal. Clacton is now Farage country, part of the left-behind Eastern seaboard. And it has become Ground Zero in the battle for the soul of Britain. Mods against Rockers. Farage got more than four million votes at the last General Election and ended up with three men and a dog in Westminster, writes Richard Littlejohn If the self-styled King of the North Burnham thinks he's entitled to become PM without a general election he should stand against Nigel in Clacton In the Mod corner, my old mate Nigel Farage. In the Rocker Corner, Our Friend (or otherwise) In The North, Andy Burnham, Prime Minister Presumptive. Except, Andy Pandy (Andy Capp, still haven't decided) isn't. Farage has planted his flag on Clacton beach. Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough. But they haven't. The Westminster Bubble Uniparty – Tories, Labour, Lib Dems, Greens, Jolly Jockos etc – have all gone missing, ganging up on Reform. Even Rupert Lowe (another old mate, full disclosure, let him and Nige sort their differences out, not my problem) is standing his teenage Mods down, despite the fact that crumbling Clacton should be a target seat for his Restore party, or whatever it's called this week. (Isn't the sergeant from Lewis part this nonsense? Dunno, lose track.) Sorry, but this should be a full-on Clacton beach bust-up. Strawberry Mivvis and deckchairs at dawn. If the self-styled King of the North Burnham thinks he's entitled to become PM without a general election he should stand against Nigel in Clacton. Here's the point, though. Farage got more than four million votes at the last General Election and ended up with three men and a dog in Westminster. Burnham got, er, three men and a whippet in Wigan and is apparently nailed on to be our next PM, bolstered by Spads'U'Don'tlike Purnell, a brace of Milibands, Pixie and hubby Ed Balls, who I last saw freeloading off the Left-wing lawyers Thompsons at the Lane. Look, I get the problem with Farage's £5 million donation from some crypto-bloke I've never heard of. I've told him as much. But I also know how much his security has cost over the years. Never met whoever Posh Wossname happens to be but Nigel and I have had a few proper lunches over the years and I know how much the Range Rover cost and the three big buggers from the special forces at the next table in Boisdale. Reflect on this: Genghis Khan, the two-bob chancer mayor of London, got less than a third of Farage's votes, yet still gets a £350,000 Rangey from the Old Bill and a gratis police bodyguard. To the best of my knowledge, Genghis has never been 'milkshaked' or physically attacked. Farage lives constantly with the likelihood of having acid chucked in his face – something encouraged by Jo Brand, who's old enough to know better. And when Sky News, a network I used to be proud to be associated with, start doorstepping his daughter without reason, all bets are off. You don't go after people's families, something the #BeKind far-Left don't respect. Still, Sky – with a few honourable exceptions such as Mark Austin and Jon 'Hoss' Craig – is a disgrace these days, ten times worse than the BBC – especially the lipstick-on-my- collar political editor and her Guardianista sidekick. See you on the beach at Clacton...