'Not having a proper funeral left me with painful memories'

'Not having a proper funeral left me with painful memories'Just nowShareSaveAdd as preferred on GoogleJasmine Ketibuah-FoleyWest of EnglandSimon Helliar-MooreA basic funeral in England now costs about £4,285 on average, research showsIn the last couple of months, partly due to the ongoing conflict in the Middle East, the cost of thing such as fuel, food and travel has gone up sharply. But something else had been quietly becoming more expensive for years - funerals. On average, a basic funeral in England in 2025 cost around £4,285 - that's up by 3.5% from 2024, according to a report by insurance company SunLife. Because of those costs, more people are choosing cheaper options like direct cremations - where nobody is present - but for some, that can leave a sense that they have missed out on saying goodbye. The National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF) said it had found nearly one in five people who arrange a direct cremation now regret it, while one in five say they were left with unresolved grief. Ed Cullen, from Taunton in Somerset, said when his mum died, she arranged an unattended cremation because she thought it was cheaper - leaving him and his family without the chance to say goodbye. More from SomersetDisabled woman 'forced' to use stairs on MegabusThree puppies dead after 11 abandoned in parkClosed coastal road one step closer to reopeningEd CullenCullen said his mum thought she was saving her family "all the hassle" of funeral expenses when she arranged for an unattended cremation"I was told she made funeral arrangements but not what type of funeral," Cullen said. "She was quite private and didn't express that in depth. She thought she was saving us all the hassle. "I was estranged from my mother as a youngster. Over the last 20 years I got very close to her and not being able to say goodbye to her, not being able to say farewell has left me with a lot of stress and painful memories. "I would never recommend this way of being taken away and buried to anybody. It leaves a lot of devastation behind." Cullen said people struggling to pay for a funeral could get help from the government, or discuss their options with funeral directors. Simon Helliar-MooreHelliar-Moore said families worried about costs should speak to an independent funeral director or seek help through government fundsThe government offers some people a subsidy; on certain government benefits a Funeral Expenses Payment, can help cover some of the costs. Of those who receive a Funeral Expenses Payment, the subsidy covers approximately 46% of the total funeral costs, on average, the SunLife report found. There are also public health funerals, which are a basic funeral service arranged and paid for by the local authority. Simon Helliar-Moore, an independent funeral director in Taunton, said the costs that come with a funeral such as a crematorium and coffins "go up every year". "Being a business that tries to care, those costs have to be passed on. We are in a difficult situation," he said. "It's about families researching and maybe not just using their local funeral provider. "Most independent funeral directors would look to work with families to make sure they get the appropriate farewell." 'Financial impact on families'Terry Tennens, chief executive of SAIF, said: "A funeral is not just about loss, it is about remembrance, connection and celebration of life. "Our findings show that when families are denied that moment, some can be left with a lasting sense that something important is missing. "It underlines why open conversations about funeral wishes matter so much, so that decisions made after a death reflect not just financial considerations, but also the emotional needs of those left behind." A Department for Work and Pensions spokesperson said: "Losing a loved one is devastating and we understand the financial impact it can have on families. "That's why we have a Funeral Expenses Payment scheme to help those who are eligible meet the cost of arranging a funeral, while offering an additional £1,000 to meet other funeral expenses. "We also offer Bereavement Support Payments to help people through the immediate period following a bereavement." Follow BBC Somerset on Facebook and X. Send your story ideas to us on email or via WhatsApp on 0800 313 4630. More on this story'Emotional and financial' pressure of funeral feesLondon funeral costs highest in UK, report findsFuneral costs drop for first time in 18 yearsFuneralsCost of Living