My mum was sexually abused by her dad. After she died, I confronted him before her funeral - and secretly recorded every word of his sickening confession

Published: 15:39, 16 August 2026 | Updated: 15:39, 16 August 2026 Ever since I was little, I'd known my mum Alison to be sad. Sometimes she spent weeks in bed, barely lifting her head from the duvet. At night, she woke from terrible dreams, and I'd run in to wipe her face with a cool flannel and comfort her. With seven siblings, I learned at just six years old to look after the younger ones - helping on the school run, cooking simple dinners, washing uniforms. Mum did her best and was loving and caring, always making sure we had presents at birthdays and Christmas.  Some days were better than others, but on Saturday nights, we'd snuggle on the sofa with my little sisters Jasmine and Kylie and watch TV. Most other days, she'd just take to her bed.   I was still in school when Mum confided she'd been abused by her dad, Mark Connolly. Though I didn't understand exactly what she meant, I knew this was somehow linked to her depression. She begged me to keep it a secret.   To me as a little girl, it made no sense. I visited my grandad Mark most weekends, sometimes staying overnight. His house seemed far more welcoming than my own; it was clean, airy and quiet. We got home-cooked meals and I felt safe there.  Sometimes my mum Alison (pictured) would spend weeks in bed, barely lifting her head from the pillow  Mum did her best but I had to grow up fast and take care of my seven siblings  When I was around seven years old, I went for a sleepover. I had a bath before bed, as usual. But this time, Grandad came into the bathroom and began touching me inappropriately. I recoiled. Though I didn't know it was wrong, I hated it. Afterwards, Grandad gave me lollies.  As the weeks passed, the abuse got worse. My grandfather assaulted me on most visits, whenever he had the chance. Late at night, when my grandmother was in bed, he'd make me watch pornography. I didn't know what to do. I felt so helpless and alone. Part of me wanted to scream at the top of my voice, to let people know what he was doing to me. But I knew I was expected to stay silent – just as my mother had done. I couldn't even confide in her, because I worried about upsetting her. She had enough troubles already. Even though I was still at school, I panicked I might be pregnant. I worried I'd have a baby to look after, as well as all my siblings. As time passed, I tried hard to block the abuse out, almost as though I was playing a character in a film. I didn't, couldn't, let myself believe it was actually happening to me. Instead, I concentrated on looking after my mum and siblings and trying to avoid my grandfather. When I was 16, I met my first boyfriend and we had a baby boy, Brandon. Three years on, I had a daughter, Shania. Now I was a mother myself, I had a new purpose. We moved away, but I stayed in touch with Mum. I worried so much about her. She didn't have the strength to report my grandfather and instead, the secret ate away at her inside. Her mental health was fragile, and she was vulnerable. After I had my daughter Shania (pictured together), I moved away but stayed in touch with my mum Becoming a mum gave me purpose after the abuse I suffered as a child  Early in 2015, Mum told me my sister, Kylie, was having trouble with two sisters, Charice and Amberstasia Gassman, who were local bullies. They enjoyed picking on Kylie; calling her names or spitting at her as she walked past. It didn't sound too serious. But Mum was protective and had told them to leave her alone. One afternoon, the sisters had threatened Mum with a screwdriver. 'I've told the police,' Mum said. 'But nothing came of it, so there isn't much they can do.' I thought the sisters were a nuisance, nothing more. But one afternoon, in May 2015, Jasmine called me. I knew, the moment I answered, that something was wrong. She was hysterical. 'It's Mum,' she sobbed. 'Mum's dead.' Jasmine explained how the Gassman sisters had covered a moped, belonging to Kylie's boyfriend, in brown sauce and thrown it at her door. Kylie was terrified. That same day, Charice had confronted Mum in the local shop and there was a scuffle. Mum fought back but she must have been scared because she wet herself. Outside Kylie's door, Mum was ambushed by Charice and Amberstasia and stabbed to death. I was shell-shocked. I couldn't believe she was gone, so brutally and needlessly. Mum was only 49 years old. She had spent so much of her life under the shadow of the abuse. It felt so cruel. As we planned her funeral, I couldn't help thinking back to the abuse. Mum's life had unravelled because of my grandfather. The abuse had a domino effect and she would not have been vulnerable, she would not have been murdered, if he had left her alone. Charice was jailed for 19 years for mum's murder, and Amberstasia was jailed for 12 years for manslaughter  Martin Connolly (pictured) died in prison in 2022 following heart problems. His abuse was the catalyst for everything that went wrong in Mum's life, including her murder And so, I decided it was not too late to get justice for her. On the eve of Mum's funeral, I went to my grandfather's home. He was out, but I let myself in to wait, with my phone set to record. My heart hammered against my chest as I heard his key in the door. It was so hard for me to face him, after all he had done to me and mum. But I knew I owed it to her. In that moment, I felt her giving me strength and courage from beyond the grave. 'Why did you do it?' I asked him. 'Why did you abuse Mum and then me? You ruined her life.' To my surprise, he sank down into a chair with his head in his hands. 'I know,' he admitted. 'I did it.' It was as though he'd been waiting to confess, as though he could no longer carry the burden of guilt. After Mum's funeral, I went to the police with my recording and they promised to investigate. But first, we had to go through the stress of the murder trial. In November 2015 at Bristol Crown Court, Charice Gassman, 19, was described as a bully who smoked cannabis every day and had voices in her head. She had previously told a psychiatrist she 'felt she could kill'. Amberstasia, 23, had been enlisted by Charice to help with the attack. Both women went to Kylie's home, threatening to kill mum and she was stabbed to death moments later. The pair were slammed after giggling in court and mocking their victim. Charice was jailed for 19 years for mum's murder, and Amberstasia was jailed for 12 years for manslaughter. The sentences brought us no comfort. As a family, we were shattered. Mum's death was so senseless. In January 2017, Martin Connolly, 77, aka Mark Connolly, appeared before Swindon Crown Court and admitted sexually abusing and raping five children over a forty-year period. He was jailed for 19 years. I hope Mum would be proud that I fought for justice for her  I've written a book called The Reckoning which tells my story of survival  I was glad he was at last in prison because it meant other children were safe from him. He had ruined my mums' life, but I was determined he wouldn't ruin any others. I hoped she'd be proud that he faced justice at last. Martin Connolly died in prison in 2022 following heart problems. His abuse was the catalyst for everything that went wrong in Mum's life, including her murder. I hope, by speaking out, I can help to lift the taboo associated with child sex abuse. The shame and blame belong to the perpetrators and not the survivors. This year marks 11 years since Mum's death, and we miss her more and more every day. I've written a book, 'The Reckoning' which tells my story of survival. I forgive Mum's killers, because I don't want to carry that anger with me. But I want them, and others, to understand the devastating impact of violent crime. Because of one evil act, our hearts are broken. Mum could not stand up for herself. So now, we're standing up for her. We want her name to live on, and for people to learn from her tragedy.