A man dialled 999 to demand a refund from Tesco for non-alcoholic gin in a bizarre exchange with Hertfordshire Police's call handler.
The irate shopper had accidentally picked up a four-pack of Gordon's Alcohol-Free Spirit and Tonic cans, mistaking them for the real thing, and rang the emergency line requesting a patrol car be sent to mediate.
"Is it possible to send a police car or something down to Tesco Extra to mediate over a problem," the man asked the call handler.
Hertfordshire Police released the recording as a warning to the public about tying up emergency lines with non-urgent matters, with the unusual exchange quickly gaining attention.
The caller's identity has been anonymised in the released audio.
In the recording, the man explained that he had purchased what he thought were miniature Gordon's gin and tonics from the alcohol aisle before heading to a nearby park to enjoy them in the shade.
He told the operator: "I'm going over to the park because it's nice and cool, and I'm sitting in shade and I look at it, it's zero alcohol...and it's in the alcohol section, so they all look the same."
Upon realising his mistake, he returned to the store seeking a refund, but staff refused because he had already consumed one of the cans.
He said: "I just brought it back and [the Tesco staff member] says 'you've already drank one.' I said, 'Okay, I'll pay for that one, can I exchange the other ones? It cost me £6 because I haven't got a Tesco card."
The call handler informed the man that his complaint was "not a police matter", but he was undeterred.
"I'm really angry, so I'll get arrested... because I'm not having it," he responded, adding: "I've just paid them six quid for non-alcoholic gin and tonic."
When pressed on why he believed he would be arrested, the caller made clear he had no intention of accepting the situation, suggesting he would simply help himself to an alcoholic alternative from the shelves instead.
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The operator urged him to approach Tesco management "calmly" and strongly cautioned him against shoplifting any beverages from the store.
Despite her advice, the man continued to protest, prompting the dispatcher to eventually terminate the call, cutting him off mid-complaint.
The exchange lasted long enough to occupy a call handler who could otherwise have been assisting someone facing a genuine emergency.
Hertfordshire Police acknowledged the call might provoke laughter but stressed the serious consequences of frivolous 999 calls.
A force spokesman said: "While this call may seem amusing, the serious side of it is that this individual called 999 and took up the time of one of our call handlers who could have been helping someone in genuine need, potentially even a life-or-death situation.
"Our incredibly hard-working and ever patient call handlers are not here to answer calls about issues that are not police related.
"Other recent examples have included individuals dialling 999 to ask us about taxi services, what time it is and even reporting that the timer on their microwave was not working!
“During this prolonged period of hot weather and heatwaves we have been busier than ever before, so we really need the public to support us by only using 999 in a genuine emergency.
"Of course, if it’s an emergency don’t hesitate to call and we’ll get help to you as quickly as possible and if it’s a non-emergency that police should know about, please consider using our online reporting options."
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