Going pants down, "chimichanga out" outside of a Taco Bell isn’t the sort of early morning antics that nine times out of 10 employees of the fast-food restaurant are going to find amusing. That doesn’t even take into account a possible strategy for making such an attempt.
Why would you ALLEGEDLY expose yourself near the side door of a Florida Taco Bell around 1 a.m. on a Thursday morning? And why would you do so when you’re in possession of a pet fish? If you’re not worried about yourself, have you no concern for what could become of your fish?
It's unlikely we ever get any answers to those questions. Here's what we do know thanks to the reporting of WFTV 9. Brandon Irizarry, 28, was arrested early Thursday morning on charges of having his pants pulled down outside of the local Taco Bell.
The Flagler County Sheriff’s Office described him as being "chimichanga out" when deputies arrived on the scene. They say he had multiple pairs of pants pulled down and that he didn’t appear to be aware that police were on the scene.
When he realized deputies were there, he attempted to cover himself up. By that time, deputies had seen enough. Irizarry was arrested, charged with unlawful exposure of sexual organs and transported to the Sheriff Perry Hall Inmate Detention Facility.
ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON'T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!
"In Flagler County, if you can’t keep your business inside your pants, you’ll find yourself at the Green Roof Inn, swimming with different company than your fish," Sheriff Rick Staly said in a statement about the arrest.
As for the fish, which was reportedly found swimming in a plastic container in Irizarry’s backpack, it was taken to the Flagler County Humane Society. The betta fish deputies named "Baja Blast" is "doing great" according to humane society staff.
The sheriff’s office, which had a good time with this one, issued a friendly reminder to locals by joking that their late-night Taco Bell runs should have a "a receipt, maybe some regret, but not a booking number."
This is a sheriff's office that cares about the community it serves. Keeping your chimichanga in your pants at Taco Bell is the moral of this story.
