Louisiana woman hospitalized after rope swing mishap on cruise excursion left her with genital trauma

The older I get, the more I'm out on cruise excursions involving sails or climbing or ropes or slides. Let's stick to the ones where you grab a drink and kick your feet up at the beach or grab something to eat at a restaurant.

A Louisiana woman's story of a Carnival Cruise excursion involving a rope swing in Honduras and the genital trauma it left her with is all the confirmation I need to stick to the least adventurous excursions.

Call me boring if you want, but I'm walking away with zero trauma to my genitals. I get some people feel the need to risk it. I'm not one of them and this drives it home for me.

ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON’T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!

Kirsten Lindsey was on the third day of her first cruise when she suffered what has been described as a catastrophic saddle injury during a rope swing excursion.

According to her boyfriend Blake, reports WFLA, the retrieval line appeared to be improperly connected to the rope and caught her between the legs as she was swinging out over the water.

"The line suddenly tightened between Kirsten’s legs just before she dropped," Blake said.

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What was initially believed to be just a scratch started swelling over the next several hours, causing severe pain and an injury the size of a baseball.

Kirsten ended up in the ship's medical center for more than 12 hours receiving treatment, reports the outlet. The couple had to shell out approximately $4,000 before they were allowed to leave the ship.

That was only the start of their total cost to get the injured woman back to the United States for further treatment. Instead of riding out the rest of the cruise in the ship's medical facility or traveling to a hospital in Mexico, they chose an emergency air evacuation.

The cost of that, Blake said, was about $20,000 to leave Costa Maya and another $30,000 to make it back to the U.S. He said of the decision, "We chose the air evacuation because we believed it was the best way to get Kirsten the care she needed."

She made it through hours of delays and finally ended up at HCA Florida Aventura Hospital. There Kirsten had her first of at least two surgeries.

All that from a rope swing excursion. That's not how you want to make memories on your first cruise, but there is a tiny bit of hope that this helps others avoid devastating genital trauma.