Callum Turner is doing himself no favours if he ever wants to slip into James Bond’s legendary tuxedo.
The Masters of the Air star is in the running to play the legendary spy in Amazon’s upcoming 007 reboot.
However, Turner’s most recent interview proves he’s not really got a license to thrill, so much as a signed and notarised permit to be excitable (but not excited) between the hours of 3pm and 4pm on Thursdays.
In fact, his duller-than-particularly-dull dishwater chat with Esquire might be one of the most boring things I’ve experienced in some time, and that’s coming from someone who likes history podcasts.
Now I’ll start with a caveat so large people who see it will say ‘wow, that’s a big caveat’: the piece, which is written by Henry Wong, is great.
It does what a good feature should in that it both informs (Who knew that Turner spent time in Japan? Not me!) and it’s entertaining – I’d kill to have a piece like that in my portfolio, but I’m too busy writing about my disdain towards pistachio.
No, it’s Turner who I’m afraid I’m a bit perplexed by, as he gives an answer so tedious it makes people who talk about their dreams seem interesting.
Specifically, when he’s asked about the near-endless rumours that he’ll play Bond, he tries to dodge the question with all the grace of a clumsy bear having a crack at ballet.
‘I’m not going to comment on that either,’ he says. ‘I don’t know anything, so I can’t comment. There’s nothing for me to comment on.’
Boring!
When pressed by Wong, however, he continues: ‘There’s nothing for me to comment on, and I think it’s best just to not say anything.’
And when Wong tries a third time (we love a tenacious line of questioning), he parrots: ‘I just know I’m not going to comment on it… just because there’s no point in commenting on it at this moment.’
Is that really how Turner chooses to answer a question you should have seen coming from a million miles away?
What happened to the craft of being able to answer a bloody question? Has it gone the way of cursive, reading analogue clocks, and making polite small talk, and they just don’t teach people those skills anymore?
Honestly, this really is the type of response journalists dread because what are you supposed to do with that?
It’s the verbal equivalent of that tiny pocket jeans weirdly have. It might technically have a function, but it’s useless to me.
He didn’t even need to say something concrete. All he needed to do was flash a bit of figurative ankle by teasing that there was some truth to the rumours or showing his personality. I’m sure he’s got some in there.
Do you think I’d be writing this if Turner had said ‘I could tell you that, but if I did I’d have to kill you’?
No, I’d be writing something like ‘Callum Turner is the PERFECT heir to Roger Moore’s IMPISH Bond, and this ONE quote proves it’ or ‘Licence to wow! Callum Turner just WON the internet with a witty Bond one-liner’
To make matters worse, when Turner was asked about the other big thing in his life, his marriage to one of the biggest music icons of our time, Dua Lipa, he apparently said he ‘doesn’t want to talk about it too much’.
Seriously Callum? Play the game, mate!
There are exactly two things people want to know about you right now: your marriage (and your incredibly well-covered and much-photographed huge celebrity wedding) and Bond; you have to chat about one of them, because this is doing nothing to disprove the grumbling that you’re a boring choice for Bond.
And look, I’m aware it’s slightly unfair to call Turner dull – I mean, he might be (I’ve not met him) – because I don’t think this is his fault.
Without showing you the bloody mess on the floor of the sausage factory, we journos are facing a bit of a crisis.
The increase in social media scrutiny and the potential risk of alienating an intensely parasocial fandom is partly to blame for these non-answers.
This is why when a big film comes out these days, you don’t see as many ‘straight interviews’ and instead you get countless clips of Zendaya eating a Greggs sausage roll or Henry Cavill playing Warhammer.
Those clips are more likely to go viral, and there’s less chance of a star saying something that might upset people.
It’s also why, when journalists do get the chance to speak to a celeb, stars so often answer the questions with all the enthusiasm of a person tasked with wallpapering the spare room on a hot summer’s day.
They’ve had the fun media trained out of them; every answer so sanitised you could eat your dinner off it, it’s boring and made journalism all the more boring for it.
So let this piece serve as a eulogy for the celebrity anecdote, because as Turner would say, there’s nothing to comment on anymore.
RIP Celebrity Interview (1859-2026):
‘Shot in the back by the coward Callum Turner’
