I’m in my 40s and a Gen Z newbie was promoted over me – I might quit

I’ve put eight years into my company, worked like a dog, put in all-nighters, and been fiercely loyal. Recently, when I came up for a big promotion I readied myself to finally get some recognition for my dedication to the company, when I found out that some Gen Z newbie had received the promotion instead.

They are in their twenties and have only been at the company for a year and a half – I’m in my forties, which makes it even more insulting. I was devastated at first – now I’m just furious. I’m really thinking of leaving, even though I’m paid well and love the company and my colleagues. What are my next steps? Shall I tell my manager I’m thinking of leaving to prompt them into action? 

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Hannah Salton is a career coach and former corporate recruitment manager. She specialises in working with mid-career professionals who feel stuck and are ready for a change. She spent eight years leading recruitment and talent initiatives for global organisations, including BT and Allen & Overy, before launching her career coaching business in 2017. She has coached everyone from graduates to senior leaders, and has worked with MBA students at Imperial College Business School to secure roles at some of the world’s leading organisations.

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I can completely see why this is frustrating for you. It sounds like you’ve worked hard and been extremely loyal, so it’s understandable why you might be feeling slighted or underappreciated. 

Ageism at work does happen, although without knowing more details about this particular situation, it’s impossible to know for sure if that’s what’s going on here. I’ve definitely worked with people who have been in your position before – frustrated at their apparent lack of progression despite years of hard work. It’s often a murky combination of things, and often very hard to work out.

Before you do anything, it’s probably helpful to take a step back and think things through – don’t act impulsively. Talk to friends and family if you need to offload, but try not to rant to colleagues, as this could come back to bite you.

Avoid obsessing over age or generation

As hard as it might be, I would encourage you to focus less on the age comparison and get curious as to why this might have happened. Setting aside your colleague who did get promoted, how do you think you’re doing at work? What is your relationship like with your manager? What feedback do they give you? And had you actually made your ambition for a promotion known to them? If your manager didn’t know you really wanted this promotion, they may simply not have considered you for it.

Being clear on your main motivation will also help you have a more focused conversation with your manager. I’d also be interested to hear how much you actually enjoy your work. Do you find it rewarding and fulfilling? Does it suit your skillset? How well suited we are to our jobs can play a big part, and there’s evidence that when we’re in a role that plays to our strengths, we’re more likely to be promoted.

Get vocal about your ambitions – people aren’t mind-readers

In an ideal world, you would have a clear understanding of what is going well, what your strengths are, and what you need to work on to get to the next level. If this isn’t happening, I’d encourage you to have an open and honest conversation with your manager, focusing less on your frustrations about the other person getting promoted and more on where you want to go. 

Explain your ambition and that you would like to be promoted at some point. Ask directly for their opinion on this and try to push for a timeline. Your insights from this conversation could be illuminating and provide some clues into why the decision to promote someone else may have been made.

I’d also be curious about what’s really driving your desire for this promotion. Is it the money? The extra responsibility? The recognition from your employer? Working this out can be helpful, because there may be other ways to address it – a pay rise, for example, or a shift in the focus of your day-to-day role. 

Hard work is important, but not the only thing  

It’s also worth asking yourself honestly, do you truly believe you were the right person for this role, or have you been equating time served with deserving the promotion? They’re not always the same thing. Seniority and loyalty do matter, but they’re not the only factors – and sometimes not the deciding ones.

In most workplaces, there are so many different factors that can affect whether or not someone is promoted. Some might seem fair, others less so. Unfortunately, loyalty and working like a dog can sometimes be overlooked, and internal relationships, perceived ability or ambition, and other factors may come into play more.

Job-hopping doesn’t always mean progression 

On the job-hopping question – I know it can sometimes feel that people who move around are rewarded more than those who stay loyal, from higher wage growth to general accelerated progression. But it could also be that those who do move around are more proactive about seeking out opportunities and making their ambitions visible, which in itself can drive progression.

Do not threaten to leave

I wouldn’t recommend threatening to leave. Beyond the fact that it can cause bad blood in your managerial relationship, it puts you in a vulnerable position if you decide you don’t actually want to go – and it doesn’t help you work towards a way forward together. 

What you can do is talk to your manager about how you’re feeling and understand their point of view on a path upwards. If they are unable to give you a clear pathway, with useful feedback on how and when you can get promoted, that is more concerning. Do push for this timeline. They might be vague or say they’ll revisit it in the future – which is again, frustrating for you. If a promotion is something you want, push them to get clear on when and how you can make it happen.

Network and explore your options – but for the right reasons

Whatever you do, don’t just sit on this feeling and wait for it to go away. If you are genuinely unhappy and want to do something about it, being proactive and working out a plan of action is the right approach. If you just wait to be recognised, you might be waiting a long time. 

Getting clear feedback and demonstrating your worth is important, and should help you progress in the long term. It’s also worth thinking about your own well-being and work-life balance. It’s really hard staying somewhere where you feel worked like a dog, so given that alone, it might be worth exploring other options that work better for you.

Networking is more important than ever, and building strong, personal relationships with people in influential positions can help. It’s not a quick win, but it’s important to help get you out there and put yourself and your work in front of the right people.

If, after all of this, you’ve had the conversations and you’re still not getting what you need, it might be time for you to leave. Do it thoughtfully, on good terms, and with a clear idea of what you’re looking for next. Don’t leave out of spite, especially when you’ve said you love the company and your colleagues. But if a promotion is important to you and it’s not on the horizon, there’s no shame in finding somewhere that recognises what you bring.