I want to leave my estate to my partner – but worry her brother will take advantage

In our weekly series, readers can email any questions about their finances to be answered by our expert, Rosie Hooper. Rosie is a chartered financial planner at Quilter Cheviot and has worked in financial services for 25 years. If you have a question for her, email us at money@inews.co.uk.

Question: My long term partner and have been together for more than 30 years. She has supported me through cancer plus other health issues. I wish to leave her the vast majority of my legacy.
However her kind, compassionate nature has frequently been taken advantage of by her brother. My partner has twice remortgaged her property to help fund them and her family, so even though she has a fairly well paid job she only has a small flat with a mortgage remaining. How can I leave her my legacy whilst ensuring the sibling will not take advantage? Is it expensive to set up and run a trust?

Answer: What is clear to me from reading your letter is how much you love and value your partner. She has supported you through cancer and decades of life together. After more than 30 years, it is understandable that you want her to receive the vast majority of what you leave behind.

Your concern is also understandable. You are not saying she is careless with money. In fact, it is almost the opposite. You are worried that her kindness has been used against her before and that a significant inheritance could make her vulnerable to pressure again.

But in my opinion, the solution could end up feeling more hurtful than the problem if it is not discussed openly.

First, there is the inheritance tax position. If you are not married or in a civil partnership, anything you leave to your partner above your available allowance may be taxed at 40 per cent. The standard nil rate band is £325,000, while the additional residence nil rate band usually only helps where a home is left to direct descendants, such as children or grandchildren. A long relationship, however devoted, does not get the same tax treatment as marriage or civil partnership.

So marriage or civil partnership is not just a symbolic question here. It could make a very significant difference to how much of your estate actually reaches her as I do not know your total asset value. Assets passing to a spouse or civil partner are normally exempt from inheritance tax.

But the bigger issue is the conversation you need to have with your partner.

If you leave money in a structure that controls how she can access it, without explaining your thinking while you are alive, she may read it as a lack of trust. She may feel that you trusted whoever you appoint to control the trust i.e. the trustee more than you trusted her. That is probably the opposite of what you intend, but wills are read at an emotional moment.

I feel it would be better to raise this now, gently. There is a big difference between saying, “I don’t trust you with the money,” and saying, “I know how generous you are, and I worry that others may take advantage of that generosity when I am no longer here”.

That conversation may show whether a trust is needed at all. Your partner may already recognise the risk. She may even welcome some guardrails if they are framed as protection rather than control. Or she may feel strongly that she should inherit outright. Either way, it is better to know that now.

If, after those conversations, you still want protection, a trust can be considered. A trust is a legal arrangement where trustees hold and manage assets for someone else’s benefit. In your case, the aim would be to support your partner while making it harder for capital to be diverted elsewhere.

A life interest trust could give her the right to income, or the right to live in a property, during her lifetime, while preserving the capital. A discretionary trust gives trustees more control over when money is paid out, but it can feel more restrictive.

Trusts also bring cost, administration and potential tax charges, including possible ten-year periodic charges. You would need a solicitor experienced in wills and trusts, and you would need to choose trustees very carefully. Professional trustees charge fees, while friends or family take on real responsibility and may be drawn into difficult dynamics.

For that reason, I would not begin with a trust. I would begin with a review of your estate, the inheritance tax position, and whether marriage or civil partnership is something you both want to consider.

Most importantly, I would have the difficult conversation with your partner now. If a trust is still needed afterwards, your will and letter of wishes should make clear that it is not because you doubt her. It is because you want her to be secure and not left to face pressure alone.