I tasted nine milk chocolates – one supermarket beat M&S hands down

There are many questions that plague the British public: why is everything protein-ified now? Why can’t men keep their shirts on when it goes above 16 degrees? And of course, why doesn’t chocolate taste good anymore?

Many of these complaints centre on the fact that the price of cacao beans has spiralled. The cost of milk and sugar has risen for wholesalers too, while costs of energy, transport and processing have all been negatively affected. As a result, the quality and the quantity of available cocoa has dropped and manufacturers are finding ways to keep producing while cutting costs.

There is shrinkflation, which in Germany, actually led to consumers challenging and winning when Milka changed the weight of their bars, but not the packaging. But the substance of bars is changing too: we are in an era of reduced cocoa solids, added emulsifiers like palm oil to substitute for the milk, and flavours to mask the lack of actual cocoa. At the extreme end, products like Penguin and Blue Ribands now have to call themselves “chocolate-flavoured” as their percentage of cocoa solids falls below 20 per cent – the limit in the UK for milk chocolate.

Which brings us to the project at hand. As a form of public service journalism, I sourced as many types of supermarket-branded milk chocolate to see which, if any, actually tastes like chocolate. Looking not just at cocoa solids but also sugar content, additives, texture, size and moreishness. You can hold your applause – just be sure to stock up on the good stuff as prices are set to rise (again).

Aldi Moser Roth Smooth Milk Chocolate

Aldi, £1.99 5 / 25g wrapped bars, 32 per cent cocoa solids
This was an aggressively sweet bar – the longer it melted in my mouth the more cloying it became, and unfortunately, verged on sickly. That’s because the flavour of cocoa was so subtle as to be, honestly, bland. A smooth bar, and creamy but veering into muddiness. Not a fantastic start but I do appreciate the individually wrapped bars.
2/10

Exceptional Extra Creamy Ugandan Milk Chocolate

ASDA, £2.28 for 100g, 35 per cent cocoa solids
Already on opening, this bar has more promise – it has a gentle, aromatic fruitiness that you’d hope given this is a single origin bar.

The flavour is lovely – you can actually taste the cocoa! – and it’s quite creamy, but there’s a bit of graininess too it. It’s got a warm, earthiness to it that I liked, but the vanilla added is ultimately overpowering. It took marks off what was otherwise a nice bar, which I considered going back for another bite.
6/10

Belgian Milk Chocolate

Waitrose, £3.50 for 180g, 32 per cent cocoa solids
Now this is a proper, properly chunky bar. None of those fine, wide rectangles of your posher brands here – it looks like an emoji when unwrapped.

This bar is technically the sweetest of the lot (55 grams of sugar per 100 grams is a lot of sugar!) but it isn’t overpowering as there is a proper cocoa flavour there. The cocoa itself has what I can only describe as a dirtiness to it – when it sits on the tongue, it reminds me of old coffee beans. It’s not unpleasant, but I do not feel tempted by another square.
5/10

Fin Carré Extra Cream Milk Chocolate

Lidl, £2.09 for 200g, 32 per cent cocoa solids
This is another bar that just tastes sweet. It would scratch a hormonal itch in a pinch, but doesn’t have much else going for it other than a pleasing chunkiness to the bar. There is also an oily mouthfeel that I don’t enjoy. That all being said, I still enjoyed the flavour of this more (the cocoa flavour was that bit warmer) than the Aldi option, so it ranks higher.
3.5/10

Milk Chocolate

ASDA, £2.28 for 200g, 27 per cent cocoa solids
Oh, now this was a bad time. It tasted, frankly, of nothing at all. Just a series of unappealing adjectives popped into mind: dusty, oily, grainy, unpleasant. No thanks, not even in a pinch. Dusty and oily, grainy. Unpleasant.
1/10

Swiss Chocolatier Extra Fine Milk with Ground Hazelnuts, £3.75 for 125g

Marks & Spencer, £3.75 for 125g, 35 per cent cocoa solids
This chocolate bar with the addition of ground hazelnuts (which is found in some traditional Swiss recipes) is very, very eatable. The hazelnuts give it a real warmth that, together with a creamy mouthful and well-rounded sweetness, make it tasty. I will say I think the ground hazelnut is doing the heavy lifting in the flavour department, but the cocoa is there. Subtle, but there.
5.5/10

M&S Collection Single Origin Dark Milk Chocolate, £3.00 for 100g

Marks & Spencer, £3.00 for 100g, 54 per cent cocoa solids
This is where we might get a bit subjective because I love the flavour of cocoa and a good dark or dark milk bar is, to me, the platonic ideal of a sweet treat. So this bar, being both single origin and the highest cocoa percentage at 54 per cent, should have been a winner.

Sadly, I was let down by M&S here. The cocoa flavour was far too bitter – rather than fruity, as the package said, it tasted fermented, earthy, almost alcoholic. The aftertaste was acrid with vanilla sprinkled on top. I’m not quite sure what happened here, maybe it was a bad cocoa batch? Maybe I’m secretly suffering from tonsil stones? It just wasn’t pleasant in its own right, which is what a bar should be – especially for that price.
3/10

Finest Single Origin Dark Milk Chocolate, £2.40 for 100g

Tesco, £2.40 for 100g, 48 per cent cocoa solids
Whoo-wee, this is what I was looking for. A really well-rounded, deep, almost roasted flavour to the cocoa, with a lovely, gentle bitterness that is carried by the bar’s creaminess. Really delicious, and one I am very tempted to return to, though I stand firm, lest I burst from eating too many choccies.

It’s worth noting that this the shortest ingredient list of the whole selection here and, interestingly, has the lowest proportion of sugar (33 grams per 100 grams, practically a diet food!) Good quality ingredients and not overloading things really does result in better tasting products – unbelievable stuff.
9/10

No. 1 Fairtrade Dominican Republic Milk Chocolate

Waitrose, £3.00 for 100g, 49 per cent cocoa solids
While the Tesco Finest was my personal favourite, I have to concede that the Waitrose No.1 bar just pips it to the top spot as it is a stronger all-rounder. The cocoa flavour is lovely and fruity but mild for those who don’t like their chocolate funky. Less bitter, perhaps because of the addition of vanilla, which is there, but very subtly. The texture is really fantastic, so smooth as to be velvety. I have filled my pockets with both the Waitrose and Tesco Finest bars like a squirrel preparing for winter – they are just that good.
9.5/10