There are few animals as fascinating and entertaining to watch as gorillas.
I know it's like 70% scratching themselves, but that other 30% is magic, and a video from a zoo in Japan shows what looks like a straight-up ape soap opera as one gorilla seemed to ponder his life choices after getting into a bit of a tiff with a lady gorilla.
Kiyomasa is a 13-year-old gorilla kicking it in a Japanese zoo, and he was recently caught on video getting chased by one of the female gorillas in the troop.
ZOOS IN PITTSBURGH AND BOSTON JUST HASHED OUT A BLOCKBUSTER ONE-FOR-ONE GORILLA TRADE
But that wasn't the video that got attention. What is going viral is the video of the aftermath: Kiyomasa is sitting by himself in deep thought, with the thousand-yard stare of a man who is reassessing things a little.
Bro... on behalf of all men, we feel you.
Who knows what kicked that off. We're talking gorillas, so it was probably something like he scratched his ass using her favorite tree without asking. Maybe she asked him to tone down the amount of poo flinging he has been doing with his buddies.
But whatever it is, it hit our guy Kiyomasa harder than a silverback's fist hitting protective zoo glass to scare a bunch of kids at day camp.
Do you know what this tells me? We need a gorilla reality show.
Something like "Keeping Up With The Silverbacks" or "The Real Gorilla Wives Japanese Zoos."
ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON'T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!
I would watch this... for like a couple of episodes, and then it would get stale.
Well, reality show or not, Kiyomasa is going to have a heck of a time for the next couple of days after that little dust-up. Poor guy might have to go out and buy a gift just to keep the peace.
Fortunately for him, in the gorilla world, a stick constitutes a good gift, but he'll have to find a really good stick.
Nothing too knotty, unless he wants to make the situation worse.
