Football Daily | Real Madrid and some truly toxic vibes. Next up … El Clásico

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This feels like a good day to distract ourselves from [gestures in general direction of outside world] … so let’s check in on the latest events at Real Madrid. Have they finally found dressing-room harmony? Ah. Eek. Oh boy. Two statements from the club on Thursday revealed an “incident in the first-team training session” involving midfielders Federico Valverde and Aurélien Tchouaméni, with the former suffering “head trauma”. It’s now emerged that Valverde needed stitches after a second altercation in as many days with his teammate. After a full and frank exchange of views in Wednesday’s training session at Valdebebas, Valverde then accused Tchouaméni of leaking news of that exchange, resulting in an unseemly tussle where the Uruguayan fell and hit his head on a table. We can only imagine that poor Álvaro Arbeloa, who had just popped out for morale-boosting bocadillos, walked back in to find everything on fire, like Donald Glover in that Community episode.

If Arsenal fans find that they are getting ripped off by hotels in Budapest for the Bigger Cup final, they might try booking hotels in Vienna near the main train station. Vienna-Budapest is less than three hours by train; a pleasant trip along the Danube. Trains run every hour, cost about €53 one way, and the fastest train makes the trip in 2hr 20min. The hotel prices in Vienna should be back down to normal … the Eurovision Song Contest will be over on 16 May. Bratislava might also be a better place to stay and the beer is cheaper” – Eric Ries (“not a travel agent, nor a worker for the Austrian National Railway”).

On a similar vein to Declan Rice’s misquote (yesterday’s Football Daily letters), I remember sometime ago when Manchester United were having problems, Rio Ferdinand was being interviewed about how the players should react. He replied that ‘someone had to assume the mantelpiece’” – Peter Arnold.

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