'Every time I stepped foot in the family law courts my children were up for grabs': As report shows an alarming rise in cases, one brave survivor of horrific abuse at hands of her garda ex reveals how justice system is FAILING women and what must cha

Published: 13:30, 8 July 2026 | Updated: 13:30, 8 July 2026 Former garda Margaret Loftus stood beside Justice Minister Jim O’Callaghan at the launch of the Women’s Aid report – which showed a massive 33 per cent rise in reported abuse cases – and told him how the family courts system brought her to her knees while her abuser was allowed to ‘thrive’. ‘Every single time’ she set foot in the family law courts, her children were ‘up for grabs’, she told the minister and those at the event. The abuse survivor received a standing ovation at the launch of the charity’s annual impact report this week as she told how Ireland’s supposed ‘zero tolerance’ of violence against women is not borne out in the system. Speaking to the Mail, Ms Loftus called for mandatory ‘trauma-informed’ training for people working in the judicial system to ensure it is not used as a ‘conduit’ by the perpetrator to ‘further his abuse and control’. The advocate, who was brutally assaulted by her ex-husband and fellow garda, Trevor Bolger, spoke out as it was revealed domestic abuse disclosures to Women’s Aid increased by 33 per cent in 2025 – the highest level ever recorded by the organisation. Mr O’Callaghan admitted the figures were ‘startling and sobering’. Ms Loftus said her experience of the family law system allowed her former husband to continue to control her. Domestic abuse disclosures to Women’s Aid increased by 33 per cent in 2025 – the highest level ever recorded by the organisation Bolger received a three-month suspended sentence in January after he was found guilty of assaulting his former wife in front of their small children. ‘On the 58th court date, he was allowed to censor my victim impact statement and have it reworded in a way he felt more comfortable with,’ she said. ‘His control was so subtle and cumulative, I found it was really difficult for me to explain to others what was happening.’ She added: ‘I was questioning my own reality.’ Ms Loftus said she finds it ‘unbelievable’ that the system allowed her abusive ex’s controlling behaviour to ‘flourish’. ‘Every single time I stepped foot in the family law courts my children were up for grabs,’ Ms Loftus added. She said that although coercive control is now enshrined in law in Ireland, her experience of the judicial system was ‘coercive control on speed’.  She said: ‘He got access to every single inch of my life through disclosure order after disclosure order. ‘He was granted full legal aid and the privilege of a media ban [later lifted]. This time he was able to control me legally. He thrived and flourished within the family law and criminal court system. ‘I was brought to my knees by both and [at the same time] being told by every media forum that Irish society has zero tolerance for violence against women.’ Margaret Loftus said she finds it ‘unbelievable’ that the system allowed her abusive ex’s controlling behaviour to ‘flourish’ The garda, who is now an advocate for reform, urged more victims of domestic abuse to come forward. But she also urged the Government to ensure that the system, which is supposed to protect victims, ‘does not cause as much trauma as the abuse itself, like it did in my case’. And Ms Loftus has called for mandatory trauma-informed training to be introduced ‘across the judicial system’. The Women’s Aid annual impact report confirmed that the charity received 37,790 contacts through its national helpline and face-to-face support services last year, an increase of 11.5 per cent compared with 2024. A total of 62,275 disclosures of domestic violence and abuse were recorded, including 57,520 disclosures relating to women and 4,755 involving children. Women’s Aid said the figures reflect both sustained levels of domestic abuse and increased awareness among survivors of support that is available. CEO Sarah Benson said the organisation’s experience and national research show that the family law system is failing many women and children. Former garda Margaret Loftus with Justice Minister Jim O’Callaghan and Women's Aid CEO Sarah Benson ‘The process is prolonged, costly and disempowering,’ she said. ‘It often results in unsafe custody and access arrangements which disregard the impact of domestic abuse, including coercive control, on children.’ Ms Benson added: ‘All stake-holders contributing to the running of our justice systems need to be vigilant to the endemic presence of domestic abuse – in particular across all family law proceedings – and attuned to the insidious nature and impact of coercive control.’ Sorry we are not currently accepting comments on this article.