Attention is at tension

Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity. Simone Weil   The casualty reckoned to be the most destructive to human-to-human interactions – particularly social and familial – is the vacant attention one offers to the other person, though physically present face-to-face; and it is caused in present times by our addiction to the digital rectangle. It is to snub a person involved in a dialogue with you when you glue your eyes to your mobile phone screen and constantly nod your head to give an appearance of being all ears to him. This is, in clear terms, an insult to human presence around you; and the worst scenario is if you continue with this habit, a time will come when you will crave human physical presence, but you will find none. Paying attention is a conscious effort, as attention is a gateway to consciousness. It is attention that determines what is real for us. Without laser-focused attention, everything is a chimaera. The human mind can attend devotedly to only a single thought at a time, called purity of thought. The more focused the attention is, the deeper the memory is. To force it to cater to two or more ideas simultaneously affects its working as well as its quality. For the best results, the intensity of focus must act like a converging lens that converges the scattered light to one pinpoint to the extent that it lights a fire at the locus. A common observation is the self-claimed spiritual people who count rosary beads while being involved in conversation with the people around. Even on the electronic media, they are seen holding rosary in their hands and attending the talk shows. A leader of a popular political party would have a rosary in his hand and give interviews on the electronic media. Ideational simultaneity is superhuman. Attention must not have borders but boundaries. While listening to someone, you must be disinterested but not uninterested in what they say. Disinterested, you will listen for understanding, but uninterested, you won't listen but mull over how to react. You are uninterested when attention builds insular borders and disinterested when you chalk out boundaries to tether your attention to what the speaker schmoozes. Impulsively giving prompt likes or emojis and scrolling and swiping on social media has narrowed our attention span. Our tolerance has grown thin. We don't tolerate shorts and reels going over just sixty seconds. To attract attention also depends upon the speaker as to how he controls and sustains the listener's attention. To drag the topic blandly long beyond the listener's threshold of boredom when the listener just nods, hmms or yawns, means he is interested no more in what you say. Also, when the audience find the speaker hurling sideswipes on them, they busy themselves in whispering asides. A nuanced talk full of ridicule and satire peters out soon, while the talk that encourages us and shares our problems wins our keen attention. The speaker who distances himself from the listeners never succeeds in bringing anything home to the listeners. The words imbued with sincerity, objectivity and experience never fail in arresting the attention of the audience. The speaker has to wait until the listener launches himself into the listening mode. Or the speaker will have to prepare the audience to listen to the crux and thrust of his message by using various psychological and emotional hooks. One way to keep attention undistracted is to parry off the intruding thoughts. This is a situation we often come across in doing things that require our undiluted attention, such as the devotees offering prayer or the students listening to their teachers. 'Every moment has its own work and every work has a time' can be followed to prioritise the incoming thoughts. While at family dinners or hangouts with friends, we must make ourselves present there for living the moment, giving full attention to the informal talk or to every bite we have at our dinner. It will teach us to remain focused on whatever we do, listen or say – carpe diem.