4 ‘Weird’ Rituals Of Truly In-Love Couples, By A Psychologist

InnovationScience4 ‘Weird’ Rituals Of Truly In-Love Couples, By A PsychologistByMark Travers,Contributor.Forbes contributors publish independent expert analyses and insights. I write about relationships, personality, and everyday psychology.Follow AuthorMay 27, 2026, 05:30pm EDTAccording to psychologists, lasting love is often built through tiny relationship rituals that outsiders would probably find completely bizarre.gettyAll of us have wished at some point for the perfect grocery list of do’s and don’ts in a relationship: habits to avoid and rituals to maintain. But unfortunately, lists like these are incredibly hard to come by, especially in terms of “do’s.”Although we have a fairly good and generalized idea of the habits that can protect and damage relationships, the truth is that they’re not exhaustive, nor could they ever be. Your relationship is as unique as your fingerprint, so your list of do’s and don’ts will be, too — which, funnily enough, is precisely what psychological researchers want to see.Rather than prescribe recommendations, in a now-renowned 1997 study published in the journal Communication Monographs, researchers Carol Bruess and Judy Pearson focused instead on documenting the countless unique habits and rituals that couples swear keep them in love, described as “idiosyncratic rituals.” No two were the same, but overall, they noticed several broad themes emerge.Here are the four kinds of rituals that keep couples crazy about each other, even decades into a relationship, according to the seminal study.1. ‘Favorites’ RitualsBruess and Pearson describe “favorites” rituals as the symbolic places, foods, activities, gifts and routines couples repeatedly return to together, time and again. For most, these rituals look unremarkable: the same coffee order every Sunday morning, the same booth at a restaurant, the same movie marathon every Christmas. Yet despite how ordinary they look, they become emotionally loaded over time. They stop being just prefe...