2 ‘Necessary Lies’ Every Loving Relationship Needs, By A Psychologist

InnovationScience2 ‘Necessary Lies’ Every Loving Relationship Needs, By A PsychologistByMark Travers,Contributor.Forbes contributors publish independent expert analyses and insights. I write about relationships, personality, and everyday psychology.Follow AuthorMay 17, 2026, 09:30am EDTMost people would frame lying as a danger to relationships. But according to research, some forms of dishonesty may actually help couples preserve their love. Here’s why.gettyHonesty and transparency are treated as the gold standard of healthy relationships for good reason, as trust is fully dependent on them. Without a basic expectation of truthfulness, a relationship will quickly become unstable. Partners will start to second-guess each other’s intentions and commitment. That being said, human relationships are very rarely governed by absolutes; with every reasonable rule comes an equally reasonable exception. This means that, in practice, even the healthiest couples will sometimes bend the truth. And interestingly, research suggests that some forms of dishonesty and certain kinds of lies may actually serve an important relational purpose.This is because, while brutal honesty sounds virtuous in theory, in many scenarios, relentless truth-telling is more likely to damage closeness than strengthen it. As such, a loving relationship will demand awareness that, sometimes, not every truth needs to be delivered in its rawest form.Here are two “necessary lies” many healthy relationships depend on, according to psychological research.1. Prosocial LiesOne of the most common forms of dishonesty in romantic relationships is the “prosocial lie”: a lie that, in the grand scheme of things, is ultimately positive in that it promotes social acceptance and cohesion.In a 2026 study published in The Journal of Social Psychology, researchers explored how people in romantic relationships feel about hearing prosocial lies from their partner. The authors of the study found that, although honesty remains i...