'When I paint I can forget that I'm dying, aged 41'

When Caley Ashpole paints, it transports her to another world. F or brief moments, the 41-year-old mum-of-two can step outside the reality of stage 4, incurable breast cancer, a disease that has spread through her body and changed her life forever. “When I paint, I don’t think about cancer. In fact, I don’t think about much at all,” she says. Caley was diagnosed in the final days of December 2024 after discovering an abnormal lump in her breast. By Christmas Eve, her doctor called with devastating news, it was cancer. “They knew it was cancer, but not much more,” she said. Determined to protect their children, Caley and her husband Brad, who she has been married to for 15 years, carried on with Christmas for their two sons, Ike, 12, and Moss, 10. But just weeks later, in early January, their worst fears were confirmed. The cancer had already spread, to her torso, hip, spine and the base of her skull, turning what was initially diagnosed as stage 2, HER2-positive breast cancer into stage 4 metastatic disease. Now, Caley is living with a diagnosis considered terminal. Her oncologist has given her an estimated timeframe of three to five years, a number she admits still doesn’t always feel real. “When I was first told, it was a huge shock,” she said. “Even now, it still doesn’t feel real.” Like many living with advanced cancer, she faces constant uncertainty. Scans bring anxiety, with each result carrying the weight of what comes next. “You don’t know if it’s stable, if it’s grown, or if it’s active again,” she explained. " It’s the not knowing that’s the hardest part.” But in the middle of that uncertainty, Caley has found something that gives her a sense of control. She paints. With no clear roadmap for how to process a terminal diagnosis, she turned to art, and in doing so, found a powerful form of escape. “When I paint, I don’t think about cancer,” she said. “It gives me a break from everything.” What began as a coping mechanism has since become something far bigger. In March 2025, her work was featured in British Vogue, a lifelong dream realised at a time she never expected. “Never in a million years did I think I’d be diagnosed with breast cancer,” she said. “But I always dreamed about being in Vogue.” While her body has been pushed to its limits, undergoing weekly chemotherapy and ongoing immunotherapy, it is the emotional journey that has reshaped her the most. “Sometimes life strips you back to the bare minimum,” she said. “Not just physically, but emotionally too.” Before starting treatment, Caley made the decision to shave her head. She had once had long hair down to her waist, something she loved, even if it often became tangled during days spent water skiing. Losing it was confronting, but it marked a deeper shift. “The past year has been about confidence,” she explained. “But not appearance, just confidence in how you live your life.” Being given a timeframe has changed everything. “It puts a fire in you,” she said. “You don’t have time to doubt yourself anymore.” In one moment, that stayed with her, Caley recalled walking behind an elderly couple holding hands, a simple, everyday scene that suddenly carried a deeper meaning. “I don’t know if I’ll get to grow old with Brad,” she said. “That kind of future isn’t guaranteed for me.” And yet, it is those quiet, ordinary moments she now values most. “A lot of us don’t realise there’s beauty in the everyday,” she said. “Life is such a blessing.” Living with terminal cancer has brought an unexpected clarity. “You stop waiting,” she said. “Waiting until you’re better, waiting until you feel ready. You realise you don’t know how much time you have, and that’s true for everyone.” Now, her focus is simple: live fully, create meaningfully, and make every moment count. “Nothing else is important than getting what you want out of your time here,” she said. Despite everything, she remains hopeful. “We’re living in a time of incredible advances in science and medicine,” she said. “I truly believe our generation could either be the last to die from this disease or the first to be cured.” For now, Caley continues to paint, not just as an escape, but as a way of holding onto herself and creating something meaningful for the people she loves most. “At the end of the day, nothing matters more than the people you love,” she said. At the heart of everything is her family, her husband Brad and their two boys, who remain her constant source of strength and purpose. “I don’t know how much time I have,” she added. “But I know I want to spend it being present, loving my family, and making it count.” Whether it’s in the quiet moments at home or through the art she leaves behind, her focus is on love, connection, and living fully. “You stop waiting,” she said. “You just live your life and go for it.” Her artwork, which she describes as deeply personal and reflective of her journey, is available to view and purchase through her website, caleyashpole.com. Because for Caley Ashpole, even in the face of a terminal diagnosis, it’s not just about how much time she has, it’s about how she chooses to spend it. And above all, it’s about showing up for the life she still has.